semalam tidur dlm keadaan penat dan letih... serta.. ehem.. heheh...bagus gak penat2 nih letak kepala terus tidur dgn nyenyak.. sampai nak bangun pagi pun malas... minta maaf la kepada sesiapa yg kene tempias org moody mlm tadi...

kepercayaan

trust... in a broader term.. realiable... dlm arab.. thiqah... tapi thiqah membawa maksud yg lebih besar dari percaya dan reliable... dlm Quran sendiri ada sebut... jgn ambil yahudi dan nasrani sbg auliya.. (pelindung)(tp tak ingat ayat mana satu.. sapa rajin tolong ref kan)

its very hard to gain people's trust... actually we dont have to gain it kan... mmg kalau mcm Rasulullah tu.. akhlak dia mmg dah perfect.. walaupun org Quraisy tak suke kat dia.. tapi kalau nak tinggal barang derang still mintak Rasulullah jagakan.. tapi as a normal human being.. kita suka su' zhan(bersangka buruk) kat org... especially kalau baru2 kenal... then terjadilah double standard or discrimination...

i face this ... a lot here... being firstly a woman... an asian... and a Muslimah... adalah cabaran yg besar sebenarnya... especially when u r in this competative so called "mat saleh" world...i still remember the look from my coursemates.. when i ask "silly" question... when i try to give my ideas... i've been rejected... more than once i guess... that is lumrah... even a friend of mine pun cakap... kesian suara perempuan sering tidak didengari... tu dlm islamic community... hmmmm.. but alhamdulillah... after more than 2 years... my ideas were counted... they didnt look me as a fool asian lady with vale anymore (i hope they didnt...)

menyingkap balik zaman sekolah dulu... hehehhe... i was chosen in the forum team.. to lose... sedih jugak bila kita fikirkan balik... i knew it since the first time i was in the team..
"oooo jd nak masukkan budak debate dlm team forum nih jugak laa"
"tu lah yg saya duk fikir nih"
"kalau mcm tu masukkan lah aimi"
"tak saya rasa kamu lebih sesuai... bla2"
so.. i was in the team... without any special treatment ... without any latihan or pressure i guess.. we were on our own... but somehow... maybe the struggle to win... i can still see the struggle in yazmudin's.. fadhil's...isa's and toby's eyes...the spirit of winning... they didnt do it for fun of course... we do it our way... i was the one who always giving pressure to them.. the one that always change everything last minute... and they work really hard... they know that i have to practise debate jugak.. derang yg carikan bahan... tanda isi... and finally alhamdulillah we made it...

and when the winning news reaches the person... dia terkejut of course... and directly said that "ive never think that u guys will win"... and alhamdulillah... after that... i sort of get the person's trust...

so... my point is... whatever u want to call it... trust.. or being reliable...(but i dont like to use thiqah here).. u have to work your way up... it doesnt come in a blink of an eye...if it is... it will just be like... when kim(played by cameron diaz) trust julienne(played by julia roberts) .. in my best friend's wedding... she trusted her to be her maid of honour.. because micheal trusted julienne...