Australia… Where my heart is….

Perth is gorgeous. Love the city. Love the people. Love the feeling. Love everything. I even drive around with my sisters in Perth. Yup, they drive very careful. (I guest I am used to Malaysia way of driving now..) Feeling like staying in Perth forever. It feels very sad to come back. Back to reality.

Someone ask, what is so good about Australia. Most of the people who have been in the down under would know the answer. My mentor is one of them. He said he hate the city the first day he arrived, and now he keep searching for job and counting the tax to settle down in Oz. But that is only 50% of my answer, the rest let it be sweet memories that never fade away from my heart.

Everyone who knows that I graduated from UQ in geology said that I am fool for not staying in Australia. Including En. Shah. And most of them said I’m double fool for giving up all the offers. If it wasn’t for my mum, I won’t give up the first offer. If it wasn’t for the wedding, I won’t give up the second offer. If it wasn't for tarbiyyah and daawah I won't give up both offers.I was meant to come back. And I did what I have been told to do so.

But this time, coming back is really entering a whole new world. I suggested to my mum again, lets move to Australia.. you’ll love it there. And she said, I really have to consider “his” say. And I told her that I have a tournament to attend to on 14th -16th of June at Kerteh, and she said, put yourself on the other important person’s shoes, and imagine how would he feel if you’re going to the netball match on your marriage leave. (I don’t intend to go in the first place but when she said that, it makes me feel sad, and reminds me of My Best Friend’s Wedding.

My Best Friend’s Wedding

I watched the movie again. 3 times indeed. MAS offer variety selections of movies. But I can’t resist my heart from watching beautiful Julienne with her plans on stealing the bride’s man. Kimberly Wallace sacrificed her college, her interest, her family, her career just to be with the man she loved. I don’t know whether I can do such sacrifices. Anyway, love the movie. Love the songs.

We even had everyday session of listening to My Best Friend’s Wedding original soundtrack. And of course my Mariah’s collection. (En. Shah was the one who started requesting for it everyday.. and guess what he started missing it now).

Whenever you call – this is my song with Huda. Hero – our song when we were at Gowrie (Sarah, Huda and me). Always be my Baby – my song with my roommate at Residence Hotel back in 2002 orientation programme. Forever – my song with my friend in the UK. And the list goes on.

I keep mumbling all these at the office back in Perth. Until they remember which one is which.
“I hope you two will find your own song” Rahimi said. Well, before that, let’s hear from Amanda Marshall again, from My Best Friend’s Wedding Original Soundtrack…

I’ll be OK

It’s the time to let you go
It’s time to say goodbye
It’s no more excuses
No more tears to cry

It’s been so many changes
I was so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew

I want you to be happy
You’re my best friend
But it’s so hard to let you’re going now
All the could have been

I always have the memories
Should always have you
Fate has the way of change it
Just when you don’t want it to

Flow away the change
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I’ll be ok.

Life passes so quickly
You got to take your time
But you miss what really matters
You miss all the signs

I’ve spend my life searching
For what it was always there
Sometimes it will be too late
Sometimes it won’t be fair

Flow away the change
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I’ll be ok

I won’t give up I won’t give in
I can be creative but just might have been
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to begin

Flow away the change
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I’ll be ok
I’ll be ok
I’ll be ok.

I can’t hold on forever baby
Can’t hold on forever baby
Can’t hold on forever baby
I’ll be ok.

Take care, and be good as always..
Cheers.

Perth...

Assalamualaikum,

Big smiles. We have (sort of) come into conclusion who should win the bid. Hmm, the contractors here are even thougher. They did give us a hard time. A lot of lenghty clarifications, and nonsences requests. Nevetheless, that is not the reason that has put big smiles on my face.

OK lets recall on Sunday morning. We didn't manage to be on business class this time (less than 6 hours travelling). Even the manager has to be on economy. That's not a big deal. As long as it is to Australia, it has already make a huge.. real huge difference. There is no word to describe how happy when the flight touched down at Perth International Airport. For the first time, I dont have anything to declare at the airport. But the dog was scarier this time. They were not as active as today, 3 years ago.

When we were out from the airport, I immediately feel the cool breeze of Autumn. Hahah, guess what, I left all my jumpers, and jackets back in Malaysia. Hahah never thought of the autumn is as cold as this. Alhamdulillah, Rahimi came and be the life saver as always...Dia kan banyak lemak to guard him from the cool weather... Rahimi no offence.. I'm just quoting you.

Perth is a very cosy city. No traffic. The bus is free. Clean. I can drink directly from the tap . First thing I bought after arriving... susu segar... and the Australian witbix!!!!we had lunch at the kings park.. there is long lists about aussie that is still the same.. tapi.. nnti lah cerita.. nk balik... wanna meet the sisters today..

some pictures: http://kimberlite.fotopages.com

Australia... balik kampung

OK bnyk sgt nk cerita, tapi at the moment, am so happy to know that I'll be going to Australia again!!!! alhamdulillah thank you Allah for the news.. Perth.. a place that I've never been to... surely its not gonna be as good as brisbane 2 to 3 years ago... nevertheless, the feeling is much better than 7 years ago...

A phone call that cheered me up

Semalam masa tgh pening and mengantuk2 di office.. that Timor Leste guy called...

Him: I have something to tell you. Do you want to hear the good or the bad one first?
Me: Either is fine for me
Him: Pn. said, kau... x boleh...
Me: It's all right... so sapa yang pergi?
Him: ... x boleh kalau x pegi...
Me: Does it mean that I'm going??
Him: Yah from what I understand.
Me: Dude.. you're not kidding me right?
Him: Well, wait for the email if you dont believe me.

Thank you so much mate for the news. I owe you big thing man.. it really really does meant a lot to me...and yup its gonna be a great one.

Is it?

Being really stressed out lately. Did I tell you that I'm getting married??? Yah, in less than a month time, I'll be changing status from a Cik to a Puan... I dont know what should I feel. It took me more than 3 weeks to register. Each day, I've been crying either because it is so hard, or because I miss my parents so much, or because Huda makes me cry again. A few friends asked, how do I feel. I feel like there's a big, huge gigantic rock that I'll be carrying on my shoulder. I lost my concentration, I always feel restless. I lost my patience. Scolded people around me very easily. And all those mix feelings.

Am I being too paranoid about all these things? A few people have commented: you talk like you're having a mid life crisis... others said: it seems like you've been married for 17 years. I don't know. I'm afraid of so many things...
- I'm afraid of losing my pace in daawa
- I'm afraid of losing what I have

- I'm afraid of losing my say and my way

- I'm afraid that I cannot cope with the brand new responsibility

- I'm afraid of being a bad wife

- I'm afraid I'll gaduh with my future mother in law

- I'm afraid that I might not be taat

- I'm afraid of changes???

- I will miss my parents more and more

Since 12, I left home and never stay more than 2 months. Bila dh start kerja, work has taken a lot from me. Tanggungjawab kita lebih banyak dari masa yang kita ada. The result is, my parents have to sacrifise their feelings. Mak and ayah, if both of you know what I'm doing, and redha to let me go, insyaAllah you'll be awarded equally or maybe more than me. I love both of you so much, and please know that, eventhough I am always not around, eventhough I hardly come home, I really miss you... a lot.. like the whole world. And the fact that you guys had being so patience and redha to let me go, I thank both of you so much for that. You've done a great deal to make me, me, and know these deen. I hope both of you understand, that I really really loves you...

To stay positive is a great mujahadah. To remain istiqamah is a huge mujahadah. To stay conciously doing and getting through all these for the sake of Allah is tremendous effort. It needs a loottt of patience and patience and patience and of course Allah's help. And surely, with Allah's help, everything will be fine. Sakinah, mawadah wa rahmah juga akan turun. Cik kimah... hanya penolong2 Allah sahaja yg tidak akan merasa takut dan sedih. Don't you want to be His assistance?

The trip

Hopefully, it'll bring a new me, to enter a new life, to be a new person, better and better each day... to my parents, siblings, sisters, mates, and my future husband, and in laws.

Take care, and be good as always..