cita cita part 2

sorang kawan : apa ko seronok sgt jadi geologist nih ha?? apa yg ko suka sgt tgk2 batu tu..
cik nur: mmmm ok laa best la jugak ... batu tu just a minor part of geology je la... yg best nya boleh travelling... tgk tpt... ciptaan Allah...bla bla bla

cik nur: kak amy... kimah tak larat...
kak amy: sabar kimah... kita niat je kita buat ni kerana Allah...
cik nur: kak amy tau tak... bla bla bla
kak amy: kak amy faham.. hanya geologist sahaja yang faham geologist... kak amy pun tak larat... tp semua org ingat kita suka sebenarnya kan?... bukan la tak suka... suka la jugak... tp....

Kenapa ada dua tasawwur yg berbeza...hahhaha meh gelakkan diri sendiri... tak tau lah... tp biar seperti mana yang kita tau, tasawur dan andaian memainkan peranan penting dalam hidup kita. Dan pelbagai cara untuk kita dpt kan sesuatu gambaran mengenai sesuatu. Tp susah untuk kita dpt kan gambaran yang tepat mengenai sesuatu perkara...

Sama seperti cik nur menceritakan tentang matahari itu cantik bagi orang buta yang tak pernah lihat matahari. Kita kena lihat matahari baru kita dpt feeling matahari itu cantik.Sama juga dengan benda2 lain. Islam terutamanya, kita kene duduk dan amalkan Islam yang syumul baru kita tau Islam itu cantik, Islam itu indah, Islam itu fitrah, Islam itu undescribable.



Seperti perkara di atas... adakah cik nur menipu orang lain dan diri sendiri apabila menyatakan bahawa geology itu seronok, geology itu best, jd geologist itu lah yg saya inginkan sampai mati? tak taulah jika org lain terasa tertipu. Tp cik nur buat begitu kerana memikirkan pririority sekarang.

Life is about making choices

Pririority cik nur sekarang adalah nak dpt kan a good geology degree. Because learning is what Allah ask us for. However, if I get to choose what type of field that I want to study.. frankly speaking, I would like to do Education or Syariah. Tetapi masalahnya sekarang ini cik nur tidak ada pilihan melainkan hanya habiskan degree ini. Dan di sini cik nur diberi pilihan untuk sama ada flunk or get the flying colours result. And I would like to make it clear to myself, I would like to choose the second choice. I want to get a first class degree

And to do this, maybe it is easy for a lot of people. But it is not for me. I have to work my way up. Maybe everybody finds it easy to have malaysian coursemate along with them in this journey. Maybe a lot of people can just learn because a lot of their stuff is in the book. However, my course is different. The answer is not in the book. The answer is out there. Dlm batu tu... dlm outcrop nih.. dlm thin sections itu dan ini.. But in order for me to find the answer, I need to master the book. Because the book show me guideline to the answers... Above all, in order to do this... I need a lot of motivation...

Sapa nak bagi motivation ini kalau tidak diri sendiri. Again being a muslimah, an asian, and a woman... in this deserted country.. its not easy... I have to say that I love my work, I have to say that this job is every much enjoyable.. i have to convince myself that beside the big big money u'll make as a geologist ... there are a lot more interesting amazing things that u'll find in this field...even on top of this only Allah knows what I conceal in my heart... Only He knows... yup only He knows everything...

Futhermore, I cant say bad things about this... it will drive my motivation down... and this will effect the end result... however, I cant run from the fact that on top of every good things and how enjoyable I am being a geologist... There are a lot of things that just doesnt fit with me....

Do I have any choice??
Dulu di sekolah... kami dipaksa makan ikan tongkol masak asam... Cik nur cukup benci ikan nih... cik nur tak suka makan nasi kat sekolah.. sampai jadi kurus gila masa form one... tp i realise that dlm dunia nih... eventhough it is full of choices... sometimes u just dont have any choice... seperti ikan itu, sama ada kita makan atau tidak... and I did pilih untuk kenyang... lalu... mulut pun berkata kat tuty...
Cik nur: hari nih aku rasa mesti mak cik dm masak sedap... ikan tu mesti rasa dia mcm tom yam... And for the first time in my life... I eat that fish...