Australia... balik kampung

OK bnyk sgt nk cerita, tapi at the moment, am so happy to know that I'll be going to Australia again!!!! alhamdulillah thank you Allah for the news.. Perth.. a place that I've never been to... surely its not gonna be as good as brisbane 2 to 3 years ago... nevertheless, the feeling is much better than 7 years ago...

A phone call that cheered me up

Semalam masa tgh pening and mengantuk2 di office.. that Timor Leste guy called...

Him: I have something to tell you. Do you want to hear the good or the bad one first?
Me: Either is fine for me
Him: Pn. said, kau... x boleh...
Me: It's all right... so sapa yang pergi?
Him: ... x boleh kalau x pegi...
Me: Does it mean that I'm going??
Him: Yah from what I understand.
Me: Dude.. you're not kidding me right?
Him: Well, wait for the email if you dont believe me.

Thank you so much mate for the news. I owe you big thing man.. it really really does meant a lot to me...and yup its gonna be a great one.

Is it?

Being really stressed out lately. Did I tell you that I'm getting married??? Yah, in less than a month time, I'll be changing status from a Cik to a Puan... I dont know what should I feel. It took me more than 3 weeks to register. Each day, I've been crying either because it is so hard, or because I miss my parents so much, or because Huda makes me cry again. A few friends asked, how do I feel. I feel like there's a big, huge gigantic rock that I'll be carrying on my shoulder. I lost my concentration, I always feel restless. I lost my patience. Scolded people around me very easily. And all those mix feelings.

Am I being too paranoid about all these things? A few people have commented: you talk like you're having a mid life crisis... others said: it seems like you've been married for 17 years. I don't know. I'm afraid of so many things...
- I'm afraid of losing my pace in daawa
- I'm afraid of losing what I have

- I'm afraid of losing my say and my way

- I'm afraid that I cannot cope with the brand new responsibility

- I'm afraid of being a bad wife

- I'm afraid I'll gaduh with my future mother in law

- I'm afraid that I might not be taat

- I'm afraid of changes???

- I will miss my parents more and more

Since 12, I left home and never stay more than 2 months. Bila dh start kerja, work has taken a lot from me. Tanggungjawab kita lebih banyak dari masa yang kita ada. The result is, my parents have to sacrifise their feelings. Mak and ayah, if both of you know what I'm doing, and redha to let me go, insyaAllah you'll be awarded equally or maybe more than me. I love both of you so much, and please know that, eventhough I am always not around, eventhough I hardly come home, I really miss you... a lot.. like the whole world. And the fact that you guys had being so patience and redha to let me go, I thank both of you so much for that. You've done a great deal to make me, me, and know these deen. I hope both of you understand, that I really really loves you...

To stay positive is a great mujahadah. To remain istiqamah is a huge mujahadah. To stay conciously doing and getting through all these for the sake of Allah is tremendous effort. It needs a loottt of patience and patience and patience and of course Allah's help. And surely, with Allah's help, everything will be fine. Sakinah, mawadah wa rahmah juga akan turun. Cik kimah... hanya penolong2 Allah sahaja yg tidak akan merasa takut dan sedih. Don't you want to be His assistance?

The trip

Hopefully, it'll bring a new me, to enter a new life, to be a new person, better and better each day... to my parents, siblings, sisters, mates, and my future husband, and in laws.

Take care, and be good as always..

terasa kehilangan

terasa kehilangan...

It has been more than 2 years since i left Australia. It has been 2 years i've worked in the most successful multinational oil company of Malaysia. It has been 2 years. On my last days in Aussie, I always said.. life is gonna be very different... we will face something more challenging, more adventurous, yet aspiring.

And indeed life is very different compare to 2 years ago. Very different. Muhammad Ar-Rashid mentioned dalam Munthalaq, mukmin yang sebenarnya adalah mereka yang mempunyai kriteria "mengubah".

Lets question ourselves. How much changes that we have brought in people's life?Be it our parents? Siblings? Mates? Anak buah? Working Environment? Brothers and Sisters? Neighbours? Or have all these dunya changed us? Adakah ia telah mengubah neraca kehidupan kita???

Dengan izin Allah, kehidupan ini akan berubah lagi. Jika masih ada lagi kehidupan pada hari esok. Satu perubahan yang sangat susah untuk ditelan. Bagai menggenggam bara api? Entahlah, sebuah perubahan yang sukar untuk diungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Tetapi, seorang sahabat sekali lagi berkata... terasa kehilangan... dan sekali lagi berkata... life is gonna be very different...

Wahai Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkan hatiku di jalanMu...

Suntikan baru untuk gerakan Islam di Malaysia

Suntikan Baru untuk Gerakan Pelajar di Malaysia

Beberapa bulan yang lalu, saya terbaca beberapa artikel tentang gerakan pelajar di Malaysia yang semakin malap. Mungkin kesan desakan AUKU etc. Sejauh mana kebenarannya, walluhalam. Tidak menjalankan lagi kajian terhadap usaha2 gerakan pelajar dan sejauh mana mereka telah berjaya cuba untuk mengubah kijang yang pengecut kesan acuan pendidikan berbalik ke fitrah asal. Singa yang berani.

Namun jauh di sudut hati, saya dapat rasakan insyaAllah bakal adanya pembaharuan terhadap gerakan pelajar ini. Munculnya bibit-bibit kefahaman (yang sama namun diperbaharui dengan idea-idea dan muka-muka baru insyaAllah).

Namun jauh di sudut hati juga, saya berharap agar kebangkitan ini tidak menjadi seperti sebuah resolusi. Keadaan di Malaysia adalah sangat teruk sekarang. Semakin ramai wanita diperhambakan, dan ironiknya makin seronok menjadi hamba. Dikaburi dengan alasan hak, dan paling jijik lagi mensyukuri nikmat Allah. Pemerintah thaqut yang seronok diampu. Dikaburi dengan ideologi-ideologi islam yang cantik, namun di sudut implementasi (kita harap Allah membantu mereka). Desakan hidup rakyat makin menekan. Dan fokus hidup yang terarah pada materialistik semata-mata.

Umpama telur tanpa kuningnya

Anak ayam gred A, adalah kesan kuning telur yang benar-benar berkualiti. (Memanglah anak ayam yg baik itu kerja dan ketentuan Allah. Allah berhak untuk menentukan lahirnya ayam tanpa kuningnya, namun, ketentuan Allah itu juga bergerak dengan sunnatullah yang sangat cantik.) Jadi secara sunnatullahnya, ayam yang berkualiti, kesan telur yang berkualiti juga.

Putih telur hanya suplement kepada kuning yang bakal menjadi anak ayam. Yang mewujudkan perlindungan, dan makanan. Namun, apa bila perlindungan dan makanan (dalam erti kata lain nafsu dan serakah, atau material) ini terlampau banyak, dan telur ini tiada kuningnya, dikhuatiri, telur akan meletup. Dan berlakulah kerosakan yang lebih dasyat lagi.

Wahai anak-anak singa, dan helang rajawali, bangunlah dari tidurmu... sesungguhnya... ini keadaan ini hanya gerhana, bukan terbenamnya matahari... kami memerlukan suntikan daei ilallah untuk menseimbangkan kembali ekosistem yang sedang pincang ini!!!!!

wallahualam.

azam tahun baru

venue: kat office westerngeco memeningkan kepala kenapa menda ni tanak run.. hmmm

feeling - tired of my job. bored maybe...
impian - menanam impian utk jd daei sepenuh masa... bermimpi untuk tinggalkan keluar dari company ini...
persoalan - boleh ke? mcm mn? steps to be taken? adakah ini manifestasi jihad dengan seluruh harta dan jiwa?

ya Allah bantulah saya.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Selawat dan salam buat rasul junjungan..Wahhhh bnyknya menda aka issues (problem sebenarnya)...

"Geologist are mathematically illiterate" <-- prove this one wrong. Tapi setelah lama meninggalkan math, nak buat blk... waaaa

1. Kene belajar calculus and physics balik!!! Hmm buku physics kene curi.. buku calculus dh jual blk dulu so??? Maybe we should wait for sedekahan org.. Lepas ni kene buat excercise addmath setiap petang.. waacaaaa...

2. Endless probs.. hanya Allah saja yang tahu... x tahu nak mulakan bagaimana... ya Allah keluarkanlah aku dari kancah masalah ini.. ameen...

The key point is .. face it. Yup no matter how hard it is, face it. Don't ever run away from it. Yup, we are weak. We are definitely nothing without Him. Ask for His support. Ask for His guidance. and don't ever ever ever give up. Bukankah matlamat kita ingin mengubah dunia?? Mana mungkin org yg nak ubah dunia adalah org yg mudah berputus asa. (Alah cakap senang laaa --> kata hati besar).

So.. walk the talk..

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