Empowering Fathers: Look whos playing..

Anak-anak adalah rezeki, juga ujian.Anak-anak daei kadangkala boleh menjadi pendokong daawah, adakalanya juga mereka bisa menjadi fitnah kepada daawah ibu bapa mereka. Sememangnya iman tidak bisa diwarisi. Hatta Nabi Nuh dan Lut pun diuji dengan anak-anak yang akhirnya tidak mewarisi daawah ayahanda tercinta. Pelbagai spekulasi boleh dibuat untuk menggariskan kegagalan anak untuk mewarisi langkah ibu bapa.

Saya masih sangat setahun jagung dalam membesarkan seorang anak. Tidak banyak perkongsian pengalaman yang boleh dibuat. Namun, hasil perbincangan dengan ibu bapa yang anaknya mengikuti jalan daawah, juga ibu bapa yang diuji dengan ujian yang tidak ingin mereka lalui, juga dengan anak-anak yang akhirnya ikut di jalan daawah ini, kesimpulan kasar yang dapat dibuat adalah - segalanya bertitik tolak dari tindakan/cara/tarbiyyah ibu bapa itu sendiri.

Adalah sangat penting untuk memahami dan mendalami psikologi kanak-kanak. Saya bukan lah seorang ahli psikologi. Namun, seorang kanak-kanak pasti bosan jika diulit kesana kemari, dan dimarahi bila berlaku nakal (kesan dari kebosanan mereka). Mereka yang mempunyai tenaga yang tiada penghujungnya pasti tidak keruan bila disuruh duduk sahaja, dan diam. Seperti di dalam penjara! Jika seterusnya fenomena ini tidak dijelaskan dan dibiarkan berlarutan, tidak mustahil kanak-kanak ini akhirnya membenci usrah.

Kadang kala kita tiada pilihan untuk menentukan tempat usrah dan juga tempat program. Tambahan pula jika ibu bapa itu adalah ativis daawah belia dan mahasiswa. Mahasiswa dan belia dengan naluri mereka sering beraktiviti di dalam banggunan empat dinding yang memerlukan penumpuan yang maximum dan kurang sesuai untuk kanak-kanak yang merasakan empat dinding itu membantutkan pemikiran mereka.

Antara resolusi kami untuk mendepani masalah ini adalah dengan berkongsi tanggungjawab. Jika ummi perlu beri pengisian, dan tumpuan terutama dengan adik-adik, abi jika lapang akan membuat aktiviti bersama Amir. Selalunya apa yang disukai Amir. Kami masih terus belajar. Namun untuk setakat ini, cara ini agak berkesan untuk memastikan kelancaran program, juga supaya Amir tidak terlalu tantrum. Akhirnya tatapan gambar Amir yang sedang seronok bermain bersama tuan haji abi semetara ummi sedang sibuk dengan daurah. :)

Half the sky...

I was in Borders Orchard Rd, Singapore searching for my always wanted Quantitative Interpretation book when I came across this book. The title just moved me. Half the sky; how to change the world. I picked it up, flipped through and immidiately went to the cashier and pay. When i started reading it, I was moved since the first story is about cambodian girl trafficked and sent to brothels in Kuala Lumpur.

I read every word, from page to page, and can't wait to know what's the next story. The internet has talked about it, and Nick has set up a webpage for this book. And it reminds me to one of the main objectives when we conduct all of our daawah programmes or even organise any of the wasail tarbiyyah...

Others might dessiminate knowledge, but we motivate you to change. CHANGE is a big word. Especially when it comes from jahiliah to islam. This book illustrate how powerful women is to be catalyst if not main mechanism of change.

And all these changes were made possible only by AL-FAHMU. Hassan Al Banna outlined al fahmu as the first pillar in his arkanul baiah. In Chapter 1:Iman of Maudidi's famous book "Let us be Muslim" he outlined the essential of knowledge for being a Muslim as the first subtopic of that chapter. In Nick's half the sky, he showed statistics of what happen to the economy, and social well being if we send women to school. To stress more on its importance, Allah the al-rahman reveal IQRA as the first ayah and surah of the Quran.

Khadijah: First to understand and change.

Khadijah was the first women to understand, and she has became the backbone of what islam that we see today, as a saying goes " Islam did not spread without the Ali's sword and Khadijah's wealth". When Islam came under mounting pressure from its enemies, Khadijah sacrificed her comforts, her wealth and her home for it; and now it would appear that she sacrificed her life too, in the way of Islam. Without a doubt, if she had lived in her palatial house in Makkah, surrounded by her maid-servants, she might have lived for many more years.

But she preferred to stand by her husband and his clan, and to share the hardships of life with them. During the siege, she had to endure not only the pangs of hunger and thirst but also the extremes of heat in summer and cold in winter; yet she never complained to her husband about them. Whether times were good or bad, whether she had plenty or she had nothing, she was always cheerful. Austerity and privation never soured her. It was this temperament that was an unfailing source of comfort, courage and strength for her husband during the blackest and trying moments of his life.(islamicoccasions.com)

Half of Malaysian population now is women. Surely we cannot neglect women in their role to mould the society. They are staffs that contribute to half of the country's wealth. They are the GMs and VPs of big organisations that make big decisions and drive the country towards its excellence now. They are the mothers who gave births to a lot more other leaders. They are the teachers that teaches our children every day. They are the students that filled more than half of Malaysian universities. Well now they are something.

Let us women who understands islam, spread the understanding to other women around us. Let us play our role. And let us aspire to be the next Khadijah, and hold up half the sky....

My Breastfeeding Journey: Part 1 - The first week.

The first week is the most crucial week as it marks the first starting point to your breastfeeding journey. Tuan Haji abi was the main supporter towards our success, Alhamdulillah. so, here some tips especially to first time mothers.

1. BE PREPARED, PREPARED AND PREPARED
Labor is something you cannot describe. Every individuals will face different challenge. But all these challenges will contribute to your emotion. Something that could ease the emotional changes. Read stuff about breastfeeding. Know what to expect ie mature milk will not come out exactly after the baby pop out, is a great help.

2. SUPPORT
You'll probably have your parents or parents in law of makcik or whoever who tell you... oooo susu tak dek.... etc. this is not helpful. Please let mr. hubby know and understand and really into breastfeeding, and he'll insyaAllah will support you.

3. Milk is produce in YOUR MIND.
Convince YOURSELF that you have milk. Allah provide you the milk for the baby. Then just your milk being produced. I started pumping at 4am the first 3 days after birth. I got 2 ounce just to prove to people, and actually myself that I HAVE ENOUGH MILK!

4. Maybe dont do everything at once.
This is especially true to baby boy. We had Amir circumcised when he was 12hours old. And when we arrive home from hospital, we forgot to check his diaper, and he's originally very good circumcised now dah luka. And he started crying n crying n crying none stop because of the pain i presumed. And when that small baby cries all the time he'll get all these kembung and all. and then make it worst. So, if you really think on focus on one thing at a time, maybe wait till after the pusat came off, and he has established his feeding just do the circumcise... heheh

5. Tahnik
This is the prophet sunnah. It provides the baby sufficient energy after birth. Give a little time to mother to wait for the mature milk.

6. Know why he is crying.
Crying doesnt necessarily means hungry. Check his diaper, or maybe semut, know your baby.

7. Air zam zam
But when he cries for milk, and your mature milk hasnt came out yet, get some air zam zam. Doa. And insyaAllah he'll survive with that. Amir alhamdulillah were only feed with air zam zam the first 3 days he was born.

8.Give yourself a space especially when he is crying
I noticed baby will continuesly cry if the one who is holding him is not calm. At least it is true with Amir. When he cries, maybe better to give him to someone calmer and pujuk him. When he settled down, take him back, and try to breastfeed him.

9. Feeding through feeder cup or spoon.
When a desprately hungry baby were a few times failed feeding directly from his mother. A bottle feeding will only make things worst. This desprately hungry baby will immidiately register the only source to food is bottle. And he will totally reject direct feeding afterwards. So if you really need to feed him with formula, do it through feeder cup or spoon. A lot of fairlure strories are because of the bottle.

10. DOA DOA DAN TERUS DOA
A friend suggested us to doa even before the baby was born.

That is a few tips. Hope it is helpful. Email me for more private talk if you are shy to ask openly. :)

Take care

Ummu Amir

Long silence - lets update

Assalamualaikum,

Blog ini seperti dilupakan. It has been more than a year. I'll post by batches some of the other article that might be useful to some people. but as for a quick update...

Amir is 20 months now. He is progressing very well. I've graduated from pumping at work officially 2 weeks ago. And alhamdulillah, Amir has been fully breastfeed for 1 year and 18 months. Alhamdulillah, we manage to introduce formula to him. Slowly, he'll insyaAllah be independant from the direct feeding as well.

He is always energetic. We took turns to entertain him. But mostly Tuan Haji Abi did it. He is constantly come out with new ideas. Extreamly smart and cheeky at times. He loves books. Especially the one with great pictures. He recognise a few hijaiyah alphabet already. But his favorite ones is "ba".

We are expecting another bundle of joy insyaAllah in July next year. I am not coping very well yet. With the unpredictable sickness and mood swing... and M syndrome. Hope this will over soon. Tuan Haji abi is very helpful as usual. Amir is coping well jugak with the changes. He is slowly accepting the new role (hopefully).

and my new resolution. to be more istiqamah in updating the blog. heheh.

Amir's Assessment

Yesterday, both hubby and I were called to the nursery to discuss on Amir's assessment so far. ASSESSMENT?? I know. As small as yet to be 6 months old baby. Both of us are looking forward to the assessment.


On the very day, we we told that Amir is a little behind in his development. He is suppose to crawl or at least show the sign of crawling by now. The reason being is maybe due to he doesnt had enouth time on the floor to explore by himself. He definitly knows how to control his parents so that the parents picked him up.


Crawling is a big milestone for babies. It is extremely important step. And according the peads and the school teachers, it is not good if your baby skip crawling. Crawling is a step that involves focus, balancing, and fine motor skill development. I'll blog about what are the exercises that can help crawling later.


Meanwhile I leave you with a picture of Amir master crawling on 4 at the age of 8 months

Abu Ubaidah Al Jarrah: Pemegang Amanah Ummat

"..setiap ummat ada pemegang amanah, dan pemegang amanah ummat ini adalah abu ubaidah al-jarrah.."

Ketika saya mendengar hadis ini, ketika masih mengandungkan Amir. Saya terus jatuh cinta dengan Abu Ubaidah. Around that time, Ustazah sarankan untuk banyak membaca kisah pejuang-pejuang islam ketika mengandung. Agar anak yang dikandung itu mendapat semangat dan berakhlak seperti pejuang-pejuang islam. Dan saya terus dapatkan buku 60 kisah sahabat dari pustaka salam.

Dan ketika saya menbaca kisah Abu Ubaidah ibnul Jarrah. Cinta saya semakin mendalam. Kisah bagaimana Abu ubaidah membunuh ayahnya sendiri di Badar sehingga turun ayat mengenainya. Yang lebih meruntun jiwa, Abu Ubaidah yang mencabut mata perisai dari pipi Rasulullah dengan menggunakan gigi. Bukti cinta yang tulus dan tak berbelah baginya kepada Rasul Allah itu. Kisah-kisah beliau dengan umar.... its just makes my heart melt.

"Amir bin Abdullah atau lebih dikenali sebagai Abu Ubaidah Al Jarrah."

Dan selepas itu saya mencadangkan kepada suami untuk menamakan permata di dalam kandungan itu. AMIR. He actually did not give any positive indication. Until 2 days after he was born.

"Abang nak namakan dia AMIR"